Happy Valentine’s Day

At fart dot horse, we know there is no love more profound than the bond formed between a worker and his or her at-will employer. This year, we are proud to celebrate this deep and abiding love with seven hours of immediate mandatory overtime for all United States employees, contractors, and inmate laborers.

Please report to the warehouse floor at the end of your regularly scheduled shift to receive your special holiday duty assignment. Employees with five or more Loyalty Credits earned during the current fiscal year may be eligible to receive a novelty trinket and/or bottled protein shake during mandatory overtime.