In these difficult times, we all need to pull together and adapt to overcome this crisis. Some of the steps we need to take will test our strength and resolve like never before. Despite these challenges, you can rest assured that through the past few months many of our demands have been met. In that time there have been many difficult days; but it is not true that we have lost it all, that we have thrown the baby out with the bathwater. If anything, we are gaining that last vital ingredient which we needed to obtain total market domination.
Today, we are in position to stand up to our enemies. Effective immediately, all contractors, inmate laborers, and childless employees are required to volunteer for additional special duties to seize the opportunities presented by this crisis and ensure the utter destruction of our rivals.
Those participating in special duties will receive one (1) commemorative token if these duties result in disabling injury, death, or imprisonment. Tokens are redeemable in the cafeteria.